The GREATEST MASK Ever..

Today was the crappiest day ever I had..so far..ever since I came into UTAR..Details will not be revealed..Sorry peeps but I'm more comfy at telling and crying out to my own close friends..There's only 5 people who knows about this. But only ONE girl whom I told everything to..That's none other than my bestie aka catechism mate every since century, Rebecca Wong! =))) I thank you so much for comforting me up even though you're not right next to me. But I do know we'll always care for each other till the end. =')))

I didn't really show anyone today that I was having a rather crappy day because first of all, that's not who I am. I don't indulged in self pity and I don't need sympathy. That's why you can see my "mask" being put on every single day and you see "Oh Hey! Cat's always happy and all" But I'm just only human peeps. I do have feelings and I do know how stress, sadness, depression can feel..But the only difference that are set apart was that I'm a rather good at acting PERFECTLY normal when I'm around people..That's life. Sometimes, there are just things that's rather safe to be left unsaid than to be said or uttered out loud. .

If you are reading this right now, It's not that I don't love you or anything..I'm just not so sure myself. And I really don't ever want to be the third wheel party because I know exactly how it feels to be the one who's indirectly going in between you guys. I know how hurtful and painful it is. And I'm not exaggerating. I don't ever want anyone especially my friend to feel that same heart torn feeling that I felt. The betrayal and all. That's why I prefer to play safe now. Most of the people nowadays, people who have been hurt, they prefer to hurt others first before the others possibly hurt them. It's like "You better kill that dude man or else he's going to kill you and boo hoo to you, you'll be left alone with a broken heart". I don't apply that in me. That's what sets me apart. Because I rely on God to heal me. And let the truth be known.=)

I'm so sorry if you feel that I'm hurting you or whatsoever it is. It's just that the past is still very much in me and I'm trying my damn effing best to not think about it. I've laid them to rest. So please don't ever bring them up. They're not the reason to why I did not accept you. I just want to accept myself first before accepting anyone else. And I hope, really do hope you'll understand.=))) So it's too complicated to be understood right? Yup. It is. I am indeed complicated to be understood.=P

But anyway, I guess I couldn't hide them from the people who cares a lot for me. Yek Chin! Thank you for your super duper massage! It really felt soooooo DUPER AWESOME that I can feel my problems are going away like..IN A SECOND!=PPPP You should considered opening up a spa babe..=PPP HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!XDDDD

Assignments are done (collections of stuffs needed).. So far, I've got like 5 bloody assignments to be done and still pending..Macroecons midterms next week and I'll be having 4 midterms on week 7 ( middle of July)..God, I really need your help on this because I feel like killing myself right now..=.= STRESS TO THE MAXIMUM! Basically while others went back home in Penang, I had to stick my ass on my chair completing all of my assignments and revisions.. Did I tell you guys that I have no life in Year 1 Sem 2??XDDDD

But then yet again, it's not me when I have to do all of my work and no play at all..So my play would be none other than soap operas and drams and movies in line which I've downloaded like CENTURIES but still..yet to watch..=PPP LOL! So I had my fair share of Secret Recipe Chocolate Indulgence and watched the Memoirs of A Geisha..

I've watched this movie for gazillion times but it never fails to impress me. Zhang Zi Yi was super hot here. It's actually not really about high paid pros that are trained to sleep with men. Most people are confused here. I thought so too at the beginning. But Geishas are actually entertainers and they have level or what you called "pangkat" to be one famous geisha. They're trained since small to play instruments. to entertained rich tycoons etc. Nitta Sayuri was from a poor family so they sold her off to the geisha house in Kyoto district. Jealousy, rivals and love was it in. Go watch them for more details..=P

And oh ya, we went to the Grand Kampar Hotel last week just to have a look at the overall..=P And I wanted to treat Chand for her 21st because she did treat me Secret Recipe once on my birthday as well so dinner was on me..At Grand Kampar Hotel. Food was so so..It could have been better but oh well..At least we've tasted the famous food in Grand Kampar Hotel right?=P

I looked kind off tired here but the lightings "saved" me from looking like a total dead zombie..=PPP Just came back from classes..=DDD

Kita ini roommates..=PPP

My Black Pepper Grilled Fish..So so..Tasted a little salty..

Chand's..

And oh ya, before I end this post..Damn! I miss the fun we had in KK! I feel like going back there again with all of our families that is! AHHHHHHHHHH! The wedding was so much fun!!!!! I miss you guys all..=(((

Anyway, here's our Sumazau dance from the Wedding Dinner in Penampang..And who the heck said I'm against ethnic group? I'm actually rojak myself..My families are from different races and cultures (yes..I do have Malay aunt)..Those people who said that should really get to know me better next time..=P

Kind of late because thanks to assignments again..LOL! I couldn't stop but to laugh hard when I watched them repeatedly..HAISH! I miss all of them..Thank God Aunty Pat will be back soon this early July..Hehehe..XDDDDD